Safety Planning

 

How to get started

 

Whether you choose to stay with the abusive partner or not, if there has been a history of violence, you need a safety plan. Shelter staff can talk to you about making a plan to increase safety for yourself and your children. Here are some suggestions that might help get you started. You don't have to do it all at once. Each step you take is another step toward safety.

 

If you are staying:

 

• Tell someone — start to break the isolation and secrecy by telling a trusted friend or professional

 

• Take a look at the level of violence your partner has used and threatened in the past.  This can help you determine the danger you face

 

• Reassure your children that their job is to stay safe, not to protect you

 

• Teach your children how and when to call for help. Tell them a safe place to go when violence starts — perhaps a neighbour's home or at least a spot in your home where they will not be in the middle of things. Give them a code word to signal they should leave or get help

 

• Open a bank account in your name but arrange for no statements to be mailed to you

 

• Reduce isolation by becoming involved in community activities, school or job

 

• Plan various places to go if you need to escape quickly from your home

 

• Practice getting out with your children, like with a fire drill

 

• When violence erupts, don't run to where your children are. Your partner may hurt them, too

 

• Keep these items in a safe place that will be accessible to you if you are leaving in a hurry:
  • A small supply of cash, credit cards, bank cards
  • Keys
  • Cell phone and/or long distance calling cards
  • List of phone numbers including for local shelters, emergency services and taxis
  • Driver's license, car registration, social insurance and other ID
  • Birth certificates and health cards for you and your children
  • Medications
  • Marriage certificate
  • Passports or immigration papers, work permits
  • Proof of income such as pay stubs or income tax returns
  • Receipts of items bought by you
  • Lease/rental agreement or house deed

 

• Hide extra clothing, house keys, car keys, etc. at a friend's house

 

• Ask neighbours to call the police if they hear a disturbance and to be available for your children

 

• Don't wear scarves or long jewellery

 

• When you sense your partner is angry, move to a place where you can get outside easily. Make sure this space is free of objects that can be used as weapons

 

• Shout out for help

 

• If you are attacked, make yourself a small target. Dive into a corner and curl up in a ball, protecting your face with your arms wrapped around each side of your head and your fingers entwined

 

• Go to a doctor when injured or sexually assaulted. Even if you don't believe you need treatment, your injuries may be more serious than you know, and the documentation of the assault could be helpful in the future

• Keep evidence of injuries such as pictures, and keep a journal of dates and details of all assaults and threats. Have a friend keep these if you think your partner may find them

 

 

If you are planning to leave:

 

• Contact Domestic Violence Outreach (757-6675), Mobile Family Crisis (757-0127 24 hrs) or a Shelter Crisis Line (525-2141 24 hrs) to receive support in planning a safe exit

 

• If necessary, request a police escort or have a friend accompany you when you leave or when you ask your partner to leave

 

• Leave quickly, without letting your partner know that you are going

 

• Be aware that cell phones, text messaging, email, and internet can all easily be monitored. If you are using these devices to make plans, your plans could be discovered by the abuser. Consider using someone else's phone or computer

 

• Consider staying at a women's shelter if you think your partner may pursue you

 

• Take your children with you. It may be difficult to get access or custody after you have left the home

 

• Get familiar with your legal rights and options. Click here for a helpful booklet about legal considerations for abusive relationships

 

Once you or your partner have left:

 

• If you have stayed in the home, change the locks. Contact your local police service or crime prevention service for ideas about how to secure your home

 

• Consider applying for a peace bond that may help keep your partner away from you and your children. Keep it with you at all times. If you need a court order more quickly, Mobile Crisis Services (727-0127) can help you to apply for an Emergency Intervention Order

 

• Provide police with a copy of any legal orders you have

 

• Consult a lawyer or legal aid clinic about actions to protect yourself or your children. Let your lawyer know if there are any Criminal Court proceedings

 

• Avoid contact. Obtain an unlisted telephone number, get caller ID and find out about privacy and SaskTel security features listed at the front of your phone directory. Ensure that everyone to whom you or your children give out your address and phone number knows that it is confidential

 

• Make sure your children's school or day care centre is aware of the situation and knows who is and is not authorized to pick up your children. Provide them with a photo of the abuser

 

• Consider making your workplace aware and providing them with a photo as well

 

• Let your neighbours know that the abuser no longer lives with you. If there is an order that he stay away from your home, ask them to call police if they see him

 

• Take different routes to and from regular destinations. Change the places that you frequent. Park in well lit and populated areas. Lock your car doors. Stay alert. Ask someone to escort you

 

• If you need to return to your home to collect possessions, ask for police to accompany you

 

• Give your children a safety plan for when you are not with them, and review it with them often.